Complications of a "Separation Date"

The carefree belief that your significant other and you will be in the same physical location in the future. It seems like such a minor, given belief to have in a relationship. In fact, most couples take it for granted. It is the normal way to live: to believe that as far as you can think forward, your significant other and you will not be physically separated.

This is one gift that most couples have that Jon and I have never experienced. When we first got together, we were long distance. Before he moved to San Francisco, I knew he would leave for Europe sometime in August. When we are again in the same place in a year and a half or so, it will be the first time that our relationship does not include a separation date.

There are many psychological impacts of having a separation date. I do believe it is more challenging to be in a relationship when you can foresee the difficulties immediately in front of you. I found it depressing and exhausting to think about the time apart that I knew was inevitable for us. Once I knew August 5 was our separation date, just thinking about how I would feel on August 4 tore me up inside.

Looming separation affected the choices we made, particularly in the last month or two. We put more effort into having great experiences in the time we had together by taking lots of weekends trips. And for our last bit of time, we stopped prioritizing balance in our lives in an effort to get our fill of each other before our long separation.

I'm sure there are many gifts that Jon and I have in our relationship that other couples, without separation dates, do not have. But it's one gift that I'm quite excited to have in a year and a half!